Alive.

You know, I got this urge. Itchy backside. I want to quit my job and go part time, go do things I miss and that makes me happy (of course that means I’m gonna have to eat grass for a while :p). Miss having swims in the SUN (yes had membership for a while at a gym with a pool, but the only light I got then was from the moon). Going out on week days, sitting at cafes (without the weekend crowds), meeting up with friends.

Okay, I basically want to have time to do things without that nagging feeling of “I have to go back to work the next day to settle 12984984375 amount of stuff.” :)

Sounds like I have to become a tai-tai. Hahahah.

Some friends ask me, how do I find the time to do so many things? Bake. Learn to play the guitar. Making accessories. Meeting up with friends.

Truth is, if I don’t do any other thing than work, I’ll probably get bored. And then the other side – I’m also looking for that one thing I haven’t felt for a while, feeling alive. Has it been working? Not really. There’s satisfaction from doing the above. But because these are limited to time after work, I sometimes spread myself too thin. And it backfires. Go me!

So yes, I’m doing all of the above. But I often feel that I’m not 100% present, or not giving my 100%. There’s only so much one can do given the limited time we have within a day. Sometimes I want to do more, or plan to do more, but it never happens. Or it happens too slowly for my liking :/

I want to feel alive again. This idea isn’t a permanent solution. If only I can find an solution…

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